Trust those that speak here.... they do understand, and empathize
We've all been there in some manner, in some form, and to some extent. That's what divorce does to you, and how you cope which you are having difficulty with. There's a lot running through your mind that you are trying to make sence of, and your conflicted with your emotions. It's your gut feeling, your instincts, your conscience, your spiritual (whatever that is to you) that is telling you something, but you can't reaon in out in your state of mind. Go see a counsellor or use your Employee Aassistance Program. They will emphasize with you, and help you understand why your feeling what your feeling.
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