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Old 04-26-2010, 11:27 AM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,474
dinkyface will become famous soon enough

I was in the same situation - she ran & hid partway thru pregnancy. Thru persistence and lots of help from female friends calling hospitals I managed to 'catch' her (them!) in hospital day after delivery. My souvenirs from that day are a picture of my daughter, and a picture of me having a nice conversation with the 5 rather large armed guards that she called in (I'm a yoga-practicing IT geek, pushing 50, wear glasses, and weigh 135lbs soaking wet!!).

Then 2 months with no further contact, and I heard thru the 'grapevine' that whe was considering moving 5 hours away to be with her family. So, no choice but to serve her with a motion for access & custody.

Her response was to throw the most amazing pile of slander at me (together with a request for a restraining order), with the idea of convincing a judge that I was a danger to her and child, abusive, and that there was no possibility that we could co-parent and therefore she should get sole custody. My lawyer convinced me she would win.... and she did.

Due to her delay tactics, my first contact was when DD was 5 months old - 3x2 hours per week, supervised (I paid for supervisor). Supervisor soon wrote affidavit indicating my complete competency and loving care.

So my advice is to do EVERYTHING you can to prevent this, to show you will be (and are) a respectful, supportive, co-operative, interested parent. Manufacture situations if you have to.

This includes starting to pay support voluntarily and regularly, as soon as child is born, according to child support tables.

I could not get ANYWHERE (in Toronto) to provide parenting courses to a single father who could not bring along a pregnant partner!!!! So, I signed up as a volunteer caregiver at a local drop-in center - they provided training on infant care, and children's first aid/CPR.

Keep records of EVERYTHING - so much will happen and you will need to be able to refer back to it.

Last edited by dinkyface; 04-26-2010 at 12:21 PM.
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