Noah, you are free to disagree all you want, we are all amateurs here.
You and your ex can make an agreement, in writing or not, stating that, for example, the ex pays no child support but you have full custody of 8 kids.
That agreement would not stand up in court, not for a minute. There is no support for an agreement like that from the law. The law = legal. The agreement is not legal in any formal sense. It is not supported by legislation or any court precedent or any common law.
It is "alegal" in same way something that is not symetrical is "asymetrical". If you don't like my language you can spank me with a ruler and keep me after class... oh wait you can't. You will just have to learn to tolerate me.
A couple, as I said above, can agree to anything they want, but can't have the agreement enforced in any way whatsoever unless it complies with the law. There is flexability on some issues but it still has to comply.
If they aren't concerned with enforcement, that is fine as long as they agree. Will they still agree in two years? After one of them remarries? When the kids are in an expensive college program? When the custodial parent wants to move to the other side of the country? If they are sure to still agree, that's fine. If they are not, the agreement would not be in any way considered legal. It is unenforcable.
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I'm not entirely sure I understand what you're getting at, but if I do, I'd have to disagree. A "separation" is simply one (or two) people deciding that the marriage is over. There are no papers to sign, no oaths to swear, etc. It's over, you move out, and voila, you're separated.
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There is no such thing as "separated" in that sense, because the term indicates nothing. They have different addresses. Great.
Division of assets, release from claims for spousal support, custody, child support, taxation, dependants, pensions, inheritance, guardianship if one of them becomes incompetant or comatose, these are all issues that could come up, and separating in the way you state deals with none of them.
Separate like that, get in a car accident and land in the hospital, and your ex can take over your whole estate and empty your accounts. You haven't actually done anything by "separating" like that.
The only situation where that is meaningful is if a couple were common law, both had equal careers, no joint debt or assets, rented an apartment and were childless. So then they divy up the cd's and the kitchenware and go their separate ways. Fine. In a situation like that there is nothing to separate. They were barely more than room-mates.