Just reposting my answer in the other thread...
Been there. My ex started dating, introduced the new friend to the kids, new friend got all attached to the kids (kids were indifferent, really). Then they broke up, after about a 6 month on again/off again relationship.
I got texts from the "new ex" for 2 weeks about how much they missed the kids, how terrible it was to not be with them any more, blah blah. I was totally glad I hadn't had to agree to any p/u permissions, and was a bit worried about stalker issues.
Now the two of them are back together, and they are being a bit more responsible about the whole thing. I had a long talk with my ex about it.
Here is the scenario: The GF picks up the kids at daycare, they have a car accident, the police call you because they can't get ahold of the father, you have no idea who this person is or their last name or where they live or their phone number, aren't you going to feel like an idiot talking to the police?
You would not leave the child with a daycare unless you had full contact info for the daycare, phone numbers etc for emergencies. The GF, even if just for an hour, is a "daycare". You need her name and number. You wouldn't be out of line to request a police check, although really that would just be picking a fight at this point.. (I had to do a police check to volunteer at my child's school and at the YMCA children's programs.)
Anyway, full name, cell number, place of employment and work number are the absolute minimum. I'd also add the make and licence # of the car if it's not your ex's car. This isn't paranoia, and it isn't even fear of abduction, there can be a car accident at any time. You need the info, period.
Stress to your ex the possibility that the daycare calls you when the kid is sick, you have to pick up in middle of the day, how do you get in touch with the GF?
You also need to make it absolutely clear to the daycare/school that permission to p/u requires BOTH your ex's and your approval. Make it clear to your ex that these rules will work for him too, if you ever start a new relationship. The daycare has to understand that if you call about recinding permission, then they don't give the child to anyone. This should be the daycare policy anyway, but you make sure that all the staff there have it fresh in their minds.
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