Your husband has a history of violence, he has a substance abuse problem, he has been arrested, a restraining order and he has been in treatment for alcoholism and then started drinking again, you have plenty of factual evidence to request sole custody.
You do not have to have anything to do with the mother-in-law. Grandparents have no rights to access. You should not be leaving the children with her at all, ever. She has the same history of alcohol abuse and physical abuse and verbal abuse as your husband. Why would you subject them to that? You want to present yourself to the court as a reasonable parent who is protecting her children. If you find the MIL acceptable as a caregiver, then why not the father? Truth is, according to your report, neither is, and you must put your children's well being first. If you need an MRI find a neighbour to watch them.
The father should not be denied access, but it should be supervised, you should arrange visits at say a parenting centre. You should look for a social services office near your location and get advice on available places. Calling a woman's shelter if necessary to get a list of resources and numbers to call.
You rent from MIL, don't own, you qualify for legal aid. Focus on custody and support, that is what legal aid will help you with. Worry about splitting any assets or savings later.
You need an immediate motion for custody and an immediate motion for support. You sound like you are in a rural area, drive to the nearest town with a shelter, take the kids, get some phone numbers, register with legal aid immediatly.
Contact Revenue Canada, you declare yourself separated for 90 days, put in a change of address and get your Child Tax Credit cheques coming to you at the shelter if necessary, or direct deposited. File a tax return asap, you don't work, but you will need to declare yourself separated soon, and your tax records will need to show no/low income to get the maximum cheque. How many children? 2 with close to $0 income you will receive close to $1000 per month tax free.
Go to welfare office and apply for benefits immediately, explain it is an emergency situation.
A shelter will give you all this same advice and more. The situation has your children at risk, you need to get them and yourself out, and you need to start rebuilding your life asap, meaning get into a shelter, apply for welfare, get legal aid and apply for housing. You will have to do this from town, you can't stay in a rural area unless you have friends that can put you up for months, but you will remain vulnerable to your abusive husband and in-laws the entire time.
It is a huge step, but you have to take it.
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