[gooddadgoingmad]

I've been reading the replies to my post and I thank you for your interest and points of view. I'll try to answer all questions here and tell you my thoughts based on what Jeff has so kindly provided me with and also try to fill in the gaps with my provided info regarding my income.

Every two weeks I literally see a net of $1450 on my paystub. This amount is low because my rent of $1500 is automatically deducted every two weeks and also my payment of $400 back to the gov for the interest free loan is deducted. In 6 months this loan will be paid in full therefore my net for two weeks will be $1650 for a monthly total of $3300 / month.

From that amount there is also the deduction of $808 for child support, Currently leaving me with a grand total of just a few dollars less than $2100/ month. Yes my rent is already deducted, but from $2100 I have to pay for food which costs, and this is no exaggeration, $800 per month. ( a bottle of bbq sauce is $9.99 and milk is $12.99!) I also have my heat and light, phone and internet (which is a must living in such an isolated place which doesn't even have a bank). My montly medication costs which I pay 20% of and then I have to save to come home.

My ticket which I have booked to come home this summer costs me $3200...as I am in one of the most northern most communites and it will take me 2 days and 4 different flights just to get back home. This doesn't even take into consideration a night in a hotel both to and from, or food.

I am literally left with NO extra money after meeting my basic expenses and saving for my trip out of here. The soon to be ex is asking, in the interim, for $600 and she feels this should be much higher. I know that I won't even be able to stay here if she is awarded this amount on top of child support. I am terrified!!!

My cost of living is at least 3 times higher here, and that's conservative. Can a judge award her this amount even though it's clear from looking at my bi weekly pay stubs that I only see $1450 every two weeks?

When Jeff stated that even with those amounts my ex would ONLY have, I think he said $2500/ month for two people, I was shocked! That amount to live in Newfoundland is very, very good and it's certainly much more than we ever had as a family to live on between 3 of us. She would actually be living a MUCH higer standard of living now than she did when we were together. Which brings me to my next point. How does the idea of standard of living really work? Her lawyer asked for my last 3 years of income tax assessment and they clearly show that we had an income that averaged $30,000/ year. How is it that she would be living a higer standard of living now than when we were together? I took this job well after we were seperated and it was my understanding that the point of spousal support was to give the receiving party at least close to the standard of living they had while married. And to reiterate, her standard of living will be MUCH higher now then it was then. Her rent is only $500/ month. She has NO car payment and my parents are paying for the insurance to help me out...and to make sure my son has a vehicle to get to school and such. In any event, what I'm getting at is that while we were together we were very, very poor. So much so that we ended up in debt $70,000 upon seperation. This was not from spending on the credit cards to live a lavish lifestyle. It was just to put food on the table and gas in the car.

I'm laughing at myself here because I'm not sure anyone will follow what I've written! HA! Upon rereading it I see that you may get lost in the numbers. If anyone would like a clearer breakdown then please let me know! I really appreciate all the help but it's still not making sense to me in many ways. Thanks for listening and your help.