All you can do is be there for them and tell them it was not their fault. If they are in counselling you should speak to their consellor about how you can help.
I'm sorry, I'm going through the same thing. There is NOTHING you can do about their father. It is up to him to help his kids heal, or not.
I am involved in a group counselling program for abused women and their children. Many of the kids were abused themselves, or witnessed the abuse. I've seen a small change in my daughter after only 2 sessions. It is a great program because everything is approached through play, art and stories. There is no pressure for the kids to talk about their personal experiences, but it is most certain that they do. It gives them a safe place to talk or express how they feel.
As parents we want to do everything to heal our kids, but you have to give the time and space for them to do it for themselves. You can't heal your kids, they will open up when they are ready.
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