Just a word of caution, dont do anything right now. Stay low until you get your strength back and get more information off here. Last thing you need to do is get her going anymore and make the situation worse which looks like in your case both are about to blow.
Cut communications with her, tell her you will get back to her in a few days... If anything, just communicate via emails (as you can use this as proof later on if you need to) about the children ONLY! If you have to talk to her keep it just about the children tell her you need time and space for everything else. Trust me, she will be in total shock if you do this and she won't know how to react. Tell her you both need a cooling down phase.
Read, post, search, ask, seek answers. Work on getting YOURSELF stronger. Ignore her and her remarks etc.
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