FPI, Clearly, you are going through a lot of emotional issues with your separation, and I do hope you find the help and support you need; here, and through other avenues as well. I think it's wonderful that this site has such a good mix of men and women alike, so that we all can learn from one another's situations and hopefully gain some perspective from the "other" side of things. And of course, to have the benefit of some legally experienced minds.. it can only be a benefit, IMO.
I am curious, though.. with this statement..
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Originally Posted by FPI
...I been paying child support, Have yet to start paying spousal support, which I'm sure the judge will award her on February case conference. I’m just so afraid I will financially be ruined which in effect might kill me. I have read several posts where the women as recieved 60 percent of the husband’s income. How those the law expect the man to live. I feel I will end up on some corner begging for money, it's so unfair that spousal support can be indefinite. What is being done about this? I agree with supporting my children, but to have her use the system to stay home is ridiculous. Don't judges recognize that it destroys a man ability to work? I make rough between $50,000. To $55,000. After all my deductions I'm left with a take home pay of roughly 1300.00 every two weeks. If I'm paying her 1650.00 how am I supposed to live?...
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Are you saying that on a yearly income no greater than $55K, your CHILD support payments are $1650 per month? That's without spousal support? For goodness' sakes, how many kids do you have?
My understanding is that the guidelines are in place to try to ensure there is enough money to suffice for the custodial parent to support the childrens' needs, and here in Alberta, let me just tell you that the amount of child support my ex is required to pay leaves him with plenty. I don't know where you live, but to give you an idea of the situation here, my ex earned just over $75K in 2004, we have two children, and his child support is $1010 per month. His take home pay is generally over $3000 every two weeks. Bottom line: leaving our family of four has done nothing but increase his financial picture, and left me and the kids struggling. I really don't understand the vast difference between your picture and mine.. what am I missing?
Also, how old are your children? You mentioned that your ex wants to stay home as opposed to working, and I'm just wondering if all the kids are in school or not? And if so, why does she not want to work? Indefinate spousal support is another term you used that I wondered about? Is that simply what she has indicated to you? That she doesn't know for how long she'll want spousal? Or has your lawyer or a judge indicated they may grant spousal on an indefinate basis? I ask, because my lawyer tells me that although our children are only 2, I won't likely get support until they attend school full-time, so I have to stipulate and specify a particular amount of time that I am requesting it for. Finally, what (in anything) does your ex have in mind to help contribute to the expense of raising the kids?
My understanding (and I could be incorrect in this) is that she may ask for spousal support, but along with stating for how long she's asking to receive it, she must specify her 'life plans' and how she intends to end up contributing to the financial expense of raising the kids. I put that in bold in the hopes that others may comment as well, because I'm really not sure that I have that information correct.