Hi Stepmom,
I understand your pain completly. I am the non custodial parent and it was the hardest decision I ever made, but it was right for the kids at the time. Since that time, my ex husband has done his best to make them hate me. I have persevered and chose not to acknowledge his hatred for me by retaliating. I have chosen to sit comfortably on the sidelines and watch him screw his relationship up with our children.
I see my children all the time and speak to them on the phone daily, but not once, not ever do I disrespect their father(cant say that I dont want to.........
). A rule I had from the start, the kids are not to be involved.......period!! He has chosen to have hour long lectures on how much he hates me and make false accusations against me. I have proven those allegations wrong on numerous occassions and my older boys(20 & 18) are seeing the light.............
So Stepmom, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your husband will have a wonderful relationship again with his babies. People with that much anger will eventually get caught in their own web. When the time comes for those kids to come back make sure the heart and arms are wide open. They are not the ones who did anything wrong
Good Luck!!