Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitaforce
Sometimes you just have to step back and decide what is more valuable...no support and joy of having your child without interference of an ex...or support battles and miss out on all the time you could have spent with your child. I know after 8 years of battling...I wish I had done some things very differently. My children are grown up now but I wish I had spent more time with them than in a court room or learning the legal system...to say what? I won...what I spent in the beginning in legal fees could have gone into my childrens' schooling or vacation together....the legal system rapes those who just want to win...in the end...there is no winners.
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So i've found out. it doesn't seem fair that unless you have tons of $'s you can't bring your ex to task, especially if they already know how to bleed you in the system.
where is the justice in that?
with me i have to admit that it's a principle thing (not vengence). this guy actually wrote some horrible things about me in his affadavits (ie that i told him this was someone else's child when we split, that i had countless affairs, that he didn't know he had a child - that was a good one - and that he didn't know it was his child and made my daughter and i get a dna test to prove it the week before christmas.), all this when he swore a court affadavit a year after he claims we split up saying he was her father and that he was responsible for her under the law.
When i read all that stuff i automatically thought of how unfair it was for my daughter and how horrible it was for him to have put this stuff in a public record. he is shameless and selfish.
The latest is he sent me an email saying that he would like to settle and that he 'really is a good father'. I nearly barfed when i read that: ya right, you left when she was 2, then had communication with her directly via email when she was 13, then dropped her like a stone again a month later and made me hunt him like a dog to even get basic child support and never told my daughter why he wasn't returning her emails.
this guy isn't broke, he makes over 100K and yet he's 'not a wealthy person' and was trying to plead hardship.
me on the otherhand am good, don't need his support. i finally got a couple of cheques a couple of months ago and put them aside for my daughter's future. i am proud of two things, firstly i've kept her ignorant of this whole drama (she has no idea of all this) and that i am not in this 'just for the money' because i have lots of my own and this is her money in trust. with me it's the principle.
i will not block him from seeing her (but he doesn't want to because he hasn't told his other 16 year old daughter she has a sister - she did live with us while we were together and was young enough to not realize who we were - she knew her sister until she was 2, then we saw her no more). as i said, i won't stop her from seeing him if he wants to but i'm confident he won't. he's told everyone that he 'just found out' he had a daughter, that i got pregnant and didn't tell him yada, yada, yada...
where's the justice in a system where an individual intentionally lied and ran away, and lied some more in court affadavits to which i had to respond costing me a fortune in fees?
who is out there telling these manipulators that if you lie in an affadavit (which is demeaning and costly and hurtful to the recipient) that it's NOT OK?
why do the judges ignore this crap when all the while the hired lawyers are doing their best to assist their clients, what's the lawyer supposed to do? Just say oh, that's ok, you've already spent 5K on this and you should just walk away?
why does our legal system allow such atrocious behavior that costs the other so much money and not punish them for thier brazen lies (the ones that can be proven with documentation that is)?
how does a layperson know all this going into it, when emotions and anger rise to the surface almost immediately?
it's just not fair is all i can say, especially if you don't have the disposeable cash to share with your lawyer.
dal