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Old 11-30-2017, 01:36 PM
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Question Help encouraging our son to see his dad?

Hey all,

My ex and I have been apart for just over 3 years. Over the past couple of years, his relationship with our son has been deteriorating. Our son is 14 now and is starting to avoid going to his dad's place, won't answer his dad's texts, won't even talk to his dad when he's at his house. He's really showing a lot of anger towards his dad.

We have shared custody and our younger son seems to get along fine with their dad.

The older son won't talk about why he's so angry and is refusing to go to family or individual therapy. I'm confused and distressed ... I really don't want him to cut his dad out of his life! I'm afraid he'll regret it down the line. He's his dad!!

I wish I knew why he was so angry ... I have been wondering if it has something to do with his dad's sexuality. My ex told me earlier this year that he's not straight, and in a recent meeting with our family therapist told me that he's either bi- or pan-sexual and alluded to a polyamorous relationship. It was a lot to take in and apparently he has tried to talk to the boys about his sexuality a couple of times but our older son put in his earbuds and so my ex stopped. (I'm angry that he didn't let me know that he was telling our kids anything about any of this in advance - I think that they need support and that we should agree on an approach together, he thinks that I'm homophobic.)

But anyway, I think our son knows something and maybe resents his dad for not being honest? Or for being different (though he's a very open-hearted kid in general)? Or maybe it has nothing to do with my ex's sexuality?

Okay, long story short (too late) .... what are some ways I can try to convince my son to go to family therapy to try to get to the root of his anger towards his dad and hopefully start to repair their relationship? If he ultimately refuses to go to see his dad, what do I do? Any advice you have would be great ... I'm just at my wit's end.
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