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Old 09-22-2017, 04:09 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
In many cases, spousal support IS welfare. The type of person who abuses welfare is pretty much the same type of person who demands SS instead of becoming self-sufficient.

Sometimes I think the family law system (part of government) sees awarding SS as a way of avoiding burdening the welfare system (another part of government) any further.

Another part of the problem is that capitalism has got us into this mess where people working full time at minimum wage still cannot support their household (even if it's only one person!) decently.

As noted though, people bring this upon themselves. They marry and agree that it will be a 'traditional' marriage in which one person (yes, usually a woman) stays home while the other one works. It is most likely to happen when one person has a far better career than the other one, and can support the household on one income. I'm sure the 1% consider it pretty silly for one person to work for $22k a year at a McJob when the other spouse makes hundreds of thousands.

If you marry and your spouse suddenly decides not to work, against your will, then it's not a family decision, and you need to react somehow. Pare down the budget for frivolities. "Sorry honey, no money in the budget for mani-pedis anymore." "Sorry dear, we can't afford to keep your motorcycle on the road anymore." Or yes, leave, because your spouse isn't being a good financial partner you can rely on, but is instead a lazy mooch.

I'd like to be able to say that this sort of attitude should be noticeable and avoided during courtship, but I fell for it myself.

As equality advances, more women get good careers, more men participate in child care and housework, and more same sex marriages break down as well, I think we will start to see people expected to be self-sufficient more.
I'm not a fan of traditional marriages. I think it encourages to many women to be irresponsible adults and to falsely believe that they don't have a responsibility to be fiscally self-dependent. The reality should be that if you make stupid choices, you should reap the consequences of those choices. And that means that if you don't get educated, keep your skills up and either periodically work or have a career and money of your own, then you assume the risk of that choice in the event of a divorce.

No man or woman should have to pay for an ex-spouse who wants to be lazy and not support themselves. There should be no reward for being a leech. Period.

Personally, I think this would make marriages healthier. Its easier to relate to and to respect a partner who's your equal and not a child-like dependent.
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