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Old 09-19-2017, 12:41 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 62
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Oh.

Then you pretty much have no leverage whatsoever.
I could file interim motion but court won't entertain that as OCL is investigating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
You have to do exactly what mom says. Mom has the right to stop you from picking the kids up from school. Mom has the right to hire a babysitter that insults you to your face. You are effectively a nobody.
Yeah, and sometimes I want to tell the babysitter to mind her own business and set her in place, but I just ignore her because she's not worth my energy or time. No point in arguing with an idiots. Idiots will always beat you with experience and bring you down to their level. I don't do everything mom tells me to do. Only rules I follow is pickup and drop off times as that is only way for me to enjoy parenting times. I keep a very good distance with babysitter so she can't insult me. The insults have been reported to CAS and OCL. She can insult me all she wants, I will just document and use against her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
until you get joint custody, you have nothing.
I do have some things I could do, such as keep child overnight and drop to school next morning, etc, but won't take that route as it could hurt my case. I will however oppose and not participate in unilateral decisions if I don't agree to them, regardless of joint or sole custody. If I don't and didn't agree then I didn't and don't agree. Not paying daycare as the decision was unilateral, also not paying S7 as they were also unilateral. Lawyer has said the amounts are minimal and it would be unlikely she would be given any legal aid certificate to have a trail on such small monies. There is a lot of power I have even without joint custody. But you are right, mom will just continue to make unilateral decisions without joint custody, which will just lead to conflict if I don't agree to them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Your games are useless and counterproductive. Be nice, get joint custody, then maybe you can start to play.
Exactly what I'm doing. Not sure what you mean by games. Perhaps are you referring to me attempting to pickup child from school? The exchanges at daycare are not healthy and I wanted to remove child from conflict and try to pick her up from school, but mom made that an unpleasant living hell for child as well. I'm just trying to do the right thing and mom is interfering and preventing that, so I just continue to go to daycare where it is still a living hell for child with stink eye babysitter, and mom and her 45 witnesses all present. Pickup from school would be the right thing. I won't have to see mom and her 95 witnesses and she won't have to see me. Just child and parent, and less conflict.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Seriously, what made you think that you had any right to dictate anything if you don't even have custody?

...and I'm sick of dads letting moms have sole custody.
I was not and am not in this to dictate, but rather to discuss and mutually agree on things, just like a good parent should. I was however hoping mom would be involving me in the decisions and viewing my inputs as valid and seeking input from me. I have now amended for sole as an alternative and not looking to cut mom out of decisions, she is the mom and should be involved, I have tried hard to work with her and coparent and suggested tools we could use, i.e., OFW, but it just doesn't happen and it's always just pay pay pay and do do do. The OCL has noted the mother not involving me in the decisions as a concern.

I am sick of myself for having consented to that order. But I was under duress and being bullied when I was self represented not having a clue about the laws and regulations and all the games the other parent could play and dictate. I guess I had an expectation she would be reasonable with me and involve me in the decisions and be willing to facilitate and expand access to 50-50 without me having to involve the lawyers, the courts, and now the OCL.
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