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Old 09-06-2017, 10:03 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is online now
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Originally Posted by ensorcelled View Post
Yes, you did (not sure if you see mothers as women but I do)

Awesome. Did they make the same amount as the men in their lives? Did they have benefits, pensions, flexible work hours, career trajectories and all the nice things that come when you've been at the workforce for a long stretch and can command these things? My mother also worked but with a special needs child and a husband on shift work her career options were very limited. If they had split up she would have been even more screwed.

Not everyone lives in Ottawa where government jobs and benefits are aplenty. And women, even working women, fare worse off in divorce

If you're not advocating for equality from the start (as in, when the kids are babies), then your arguments are moot. All of them. Unless there are structural options in place (e.g. affordable, quality daycare starting at 12 months) and you can show me that you've pressed for them, then you really don't stand behind any form of equality. You can wax poetic about how you stayed up until 3am plotting to get your daughter but for the rest of 'us', this is represents only a small slice of the problem.

My two cents is that sometimes women have a lot to be disgruntled over. It's true that we are still a long way away from true equality. I make about 40 grand less per year than my ex and I have 4 years of university and he has none. I honestly can't even see what his job requires that is any more difficult/taxing/important than mine, yet that's the salary difference. I also took the hit on my pension when I stayed home on mat leaves. He did very, very, very little to contribute to family life in the early days of children, preferring to work overtime daily and bank those hours even though I made it known to him that his family would rather have him at home instead of making money to afford his car collection. I ran the whole operation at home but that's unfortunately not often looked upon as a valuable contribution because it's not necessarily measurable in dollars. Do I think that after divorce I deserve to live an "equalized" lifestyle as I afforded before? You bet your ass I do. But I'd bet there are guys on here who think I shouldn't be collecting full table support when I remarried and have a dual income household. My poor ex with his six figures salary who can't afford his cars anymore....
The system is never going to get better if we have such wage disparity and repercussions for women to either stay at home with the kids or work full time. We need more feminist dads!!

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