View Single Post
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2017, 11:58 AM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,518
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point

I don't understand why full weekends wouldn't be the best route. Do mean in the near future or looking forward.
Full weekends are a time when most parents visit family, go to extra curricular activities, etc. Sharing EOWeekend would be most reasonable IMO.

What I meant to add was the little time between DOS and application being served. Nine weeks. Still typical? I'm not trying to win an award here lol
Not atypical. You didn't run to the bar and go on a binge looking for rebounds ladies. You're a good guy. You tried to reconcile, communicate and see your kids more. You did so for 9 weeks, then you finally realized she was finished with you and very stubborn with access time. That's your case.

What you need are those 4 access denials, then she can not plead acquiescence (that you basically consented to the situation by not serving earlier). Oh...and she will try that. Have those 4 denials as nice little exhibits to offer when she does. You did NOT consent.

Are you suggesting this as final plan? I like the sounds of that. Though that Monday seems like a straggler. And I think it would be nice to do a Monday dropoff. What are the pros and cons of this?
This is my current arrangement and I love it. Some here said she would get more long weekends, but everything equaled out. Pick ups and drop-offs at school soon for you also, which means less seeing ex (bonus!!) Write in there somewhere that perhaps an expectation of week about as the kids get in to preteen/teen.

I have documented DURING MARRIAGE duties which were limited but always involved when I could be. Documenting POST MARRIAGE diary down the the minute. And stating POST MARRIAGE intents. I also have a POST MARRIAGE parenting preparation list like books I've read, professionals I am consulting with and parenting classes I am signed up (first day in November, geeze they must be busy) for.
Journals are great. PICTURES are amazing. I had many pictures with D6 and I at every occasion, teaching her how to walk, reading her bedtime stories (had video of that too).
Judges are human and with the right amount of photos and videos, they will see just how involved you were and want to be despite her primary caregiver stuff.
I also did parenting classes (Parenting After Separation) .. the judges loved that.

Documented at least 4 times. Once cancelled a scheduled day that was arranged between our lawyers. Lastly, denied me coming over night of first day of school so I could talk to our child in person about his day. Was only asking for a few minutes.
I remember I had a color-coded calendar of times I requested access and denied. Judges love this stuff. I had the e-mails to back them up if the judge asked for proof, but I kept them at my desk.

She's trying to minimize your role in the kids life. Fight buddy. FIGHT! Get fired up. I remember 3am mornings with the coffee maker being reloaded every hour setting up my case. Go all's your kids. She doesn't get to call the shots.

Do you think offering shows more commitment and path to least resistance at all?
Leave the driving issue for now. You have bigger fish to fry.

Aside from a diary of everything we do together and photos of certain events, any other advice on proof building?
I'll get back to you on this. I'm in the middle of preparing my own materials for the school I'm writing this stuff pretty quick. But I have some great ideas.

This got me thinking more... about how I should be taking two afternoons off per week that will further prove the validity of my proposal.
Yes, do stuff like this. Also, both kids will be in school in the coming years.

But if I were you, my case would be "Being at home with support to see my kids now and then is better than me being out of the home all day with them having a babysitter,. not seeing me at all". You actually have an advantage that most dont here, including your ex, who will need to find work soon.
Adults work, family law LOVES support systems and understands that most parents need to earn a living and arn't available every minute of every day. The fact that you have support, work at home and still see the kids is huge in my opinion.

Anyways .. I'll have more later.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 09-04-2017 at 12:00 PM.
Reply With Quote