View Single Post
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2017, 01:50 AM
Whoknew's Avatar
Whoknew Whoknew is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 41
Whoknew is on a distinguished road
Default

LF32, reading this had fired me up and I don't think I have ever felt so positive since DOS. Much thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
So you pretty much always had Saturdays? Sounds like the children have become accustomed to that routine, and she seems to not mind having her Saturday's off. She has already denied overnight access on Saturdays, which in my opinion doesn't look good on her.

Perhaps full weekends isn't the best route. I'm not sure you'll get it unless a significant material change has taken place, like denial of access occurred and it was deemed temporary make up time.
I don't understand why full weekends wouldn't be the best route. Do mean in the near future or looking forward.

Always had Sats yes. And more and more positive each time. It's not rushed anymore like previous and a different level of planning and activities that just wweren't possible earlier. I love it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Atypical? Not in the slightest.
What I meant to add was the little time between DOS and application being served. Nine weeks. Still typical? I'm not trying to win an award here lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
No reconciliation ... it's time to prepare for court.
I've accepted it's over this past week and not just because we served. I have been preparing for court since day one. I knew custody and access would be a long road. I swear, you fired me up to extreme temperatures.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
...Plus, she's not qualified to assess your parenting skills, especially with he emotions running rampant in a fresh separation. If you've been a good father, go in there and show how you were and present an iron clad parenting plan illustrating how it would be in the best interests of the kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Ask for Tuesdays and Wednesdays (both overnights) and one week take Friday Saturday Sunday and the next she take Friday Saturday Sunday.
Are you suggesting this as final plan? I like the sounds of that. Though that Monday seems like a straggler. And I think it would be nice to do a Monday dropoff. What are the pros and cons of this?

I have documented DURING MARRIAGE duties which were limited but always involved when I could be. Documenting POST MARRIAGE diary down the the minute. And stating POST MARRIAGE intents. I also have a POST MARRIAGE parenting preparation list like books I've read, professionals I am consulting with and parenting classes I am signed up (first day in November, geeze they must be busy) for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
...consistently decrease your parenting time...

Has there ever been any straight up denials? If so, look at The maximum contact principle and Rule 20(4)

Judges don't take this lightly. I know she's already denied you overnight access, were there any other denials?
Considering this is fairly fresh, I wouldn't say consistent but we're only nine weeks in. Documented at least 4 times. Once cancelled a scheduled day that was arranged between our lawyers. Lastly, denied me coming over night of first day of school so I could talk to our child in person about his day. Was only asking for a few minutes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Were there any post pardem symptoms by chance? Sounds like unhealthy attachment stuff, my ex went through the same thing.
Not clinically diagnosed but she did say to me when our second was born that she doesn't love her as much as our first. No evidence so no weight. I feel there is anxiety on her part to this day regarding them not being in her care.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
You said you're home most days?
I could and would be, no problems with sacrifice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
That isn't unreasonable. Perhaps one month or sooner. Separation is fresh, the sooner the better before she achieves status quo.
Our agreements have changed three times since our DOS... The latest one by only a half hour so not sure what constitutes change in status quo. Regardless, that is why my proposals only last one month before changing. Enough to transition. Not enough to achieve SQ. They've shown they can and are adapting quickly. The major sticking points she fought for in keeping it reduced are documented on my end as not being an issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
why not include dad more and head to the court room stacked with how equal parenting will benefit the kids. By the way, your kids deserve to have both loving parents in their life as equally as possible. That's the bottom line.
Amen to that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Sweet deal for her but you don't have to. Equal parenting, equal driving.
Do you think offering shows more commitment and path to least resistance at all?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
...time to shine and rearrange your life to accommodate your kids, and show proof to the judge that you did, and how it will benefit them.
Aside from a diary of everything we do together and photos of certain events, any other advice on proof bulding?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Is she Legal Aiding your a$$?
No. Not yet anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
IWAIT!! So you're not locked behind an office door all day in your home only seeing your kids once or twice?
This got me thinking more... about how I should be taking two afternoons off per week that will further prove the validity of my proposal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Another great detail. Based on your posts and composure I bet your materials look great.
My lawyer mentioned my composure as well. Except she got paid for it. But thank for the reply anyway

I've read your posts (not all but working through them) and outcome, 2+ years and I can further see why you know the fight is worth it. I was referencing your holiday/events schedule as most practical. So simple too. I hope (but know) things are going well!
Reply With Quote