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Old 09-04-2017, 12:36 AM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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Currently see our kids M + W fron 4-7 and Sat from 9-7. This is very recent. Previously, Sats were from 9-2.
So you pretty much always had Saturdays? Sounds like the children have become accustomed to that routine, and she seems to not mind having her Saturday's off. She has already denied overnight access on Saturdays, which in my opinion doesn't look good on her.

Perhaps full weekends isn't the best route. I'm not sure you'll get it unless a significant material change has taken place, like denial of access occurred and it was deemed temporary make up time.

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STBX is trying to keep as much time as possible, limiting my access. Main reason why I served which from what I understand is atypical.
Atypical? Not in the slightest. In fact this is what happens in most separations involving children now. The system (for lack of a better word) positively reinforces parents to fight over who gets the kids. It's a booming business right now, with people earning piles of cash in every dark corner.

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I'm repeatedly trying to reconcile as well for our relationship was a lost connection that I thought could be saved.
Some hard love for you pal, from what you've written, it seems pretty over. She wont agree in mediation and flat out refuses arbitration, so she wants war. What I learned about myself personally is how much strength a parent can gain when they're fighting to be a part of their kids life. There's nothing else in this world more important in my opinion. No reconciliation ... it's time to prepare for court.

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My question is around parenting plans. She has no desire to discuss anything near 50/50 and this is wholeheartedly what I feel would be best.
Of course she doesn't. She has no confidence in you. You leave the toilet seat up, cant feed kids, burp too loud .. you'll hear it all .. but she chose you as a mate, trusted you to bare your children and you were more present than many fathers out there are. Plus, she's not qualified to assess your parenting skills, especially with he emotions running rampant in a fresh separation. If you've been a good father, go in there and show how you were and present an iron clad parenting plan illustrating how it would be in the best interests of the kids.

Ask for Tuesdays and Wednesdays (both overnights) and one week take Friday Saturday Sunday and the next she take Friday Saturday Sunday.

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I proposed additional parenting time to which she agreed verbally but wrote her an email to approve to send to my lawyer. She kept changing it, decreasing the times. After multiple times, I resorted to having my lawyer negotiate with hers because I felt it wasn't progressing.
This is good. It shows you are not okay with the situation. No acquiescence here.

You might want to have a peek at the CLRA:
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Entitlement to custody
20 (1) Except as otherwise provided in this Part, a child’s parents are equally entitled to custody of the child. 2016, c. 23, s. 2 (1).

Rights and responsibilities
(2) A person entitled to custody of a child has the rights and responsibilities of a parent in respect of the person of the child and must exercise those rights and responsibilities in the best interests of the child. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (2); 2016, c. 23, s. 2 (2).
If you have documented evidence of her trying to consistently decrease your parenting time than I'd say your case is sounding better.

Has there ever been any straight up denials? If so, look at The maximum contact principle and Rule 20(4)
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Where parents separate
(4) Where the parents of a child live separate and apart and the child lives with one of them with the consent, implied consent or acquiescence of the other of them, the right of the other to exercise the entitlement of custody and the incidents of custody, but not the entitlement to access, is suspended until a separation agreement or order otherwise provides. R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, s. 20 (4); 2016, c. 23, s. 2 (3).https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90c12
Judges don't take this lightly. I know she's already denied you overnight access, were there any other denials?

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She can't be without the kids for too long
Were there any post pardem symptoms by chance? Sounds like unhealthy attachment stuff, my ex went through the same thing.

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My work schedule that will result in being inconsistent for the kids. I am working on changing my role/responsibilities
You said you're home most days? Let me tell you that that's WAY more than probably 85% of dads. Nothing wrong with support systems when you get a little busy. Having a parent at home with support is better than having no parent at home with support.

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Would two months be ok for a graduated transition to 50/50?
That isn't unreasonable. Perhaps one month or sooner. Separation is fresh, the sooner the better before she achieves status quo.

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The Applicant Father recognizes that the Respondent Mother was the primary caregiver during marriage, and knows that the bond between her and the children is very strong. However, he is a very competent, caring, and active parent who very much believes that the children will benefit from having equal parenting time with him and that it is in their best interests to spend equal time with each of their loving parents.
Luckily the kids are very young, and there are material changes occurring in the near future, such as school, preteen years, etc. Schedules, routines, transitions will all be changing drastically, so why not include dad more and head to the court room stacked with how equal parenting will benefit the kids. By the way, your kids deserve to have both loving parents in their life as equally as possible. That's the bottom line.

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I would make all the pick-ups and drop offs.
Sweet deal for her but you don't have to. Equal parenting, equal driving. My ex told me that I was a visitor .. and that visitor's do all the driving. The judge disagreed. But my recommendation is to suck that up until you have 50/50.

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It is my intention to move within school zone to reduce driving time for our children
I love when I hear stuff like this, and trust me, so do judges.

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Our children would not be without either of us for more than three days.

Weekends with them would allow for better bonding and plannable experiences.

Same weekday parenting days make the routine easier to remember and follow.
Fantastic!!!!

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I have you ever actually tried to parent a 2 and 4 year old while you were working?
Denbeigh, he won't be. We all have support systems as most parents work a 9-5 these days. It's the best of both world's as he's at home, with support. He can take breaks and see them, which many of us can not. Support systems are very important to have and are highly regarded by judges.
Also, he's said that he is changing his roles and responsibilities to be able to spend even more time during the days. Amazing.

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With change in one area brings change in others.
You're very right. It's your time to shine and rearrange your life to accommodate your kids, and show proof to the judge that you did, and how it will benefit them.

Also, material changes will be occurring in the future as she will be expected to obtain employment, altering the routine with her and the kids. Is she Legal Aiding your a$$?

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I have in spurts, not often and not long. Though the majority of my time spent is fielding infrequent texts/calls/emails. Most of what comes up would be solved on the spot or a re-direct to an employee in our office to resolve.
WAIT!! So you're not locked behind an office door all day in your home only seeing your kids once or twice? You have spurts all day to see them? In my opinion this is still better than going to a 9-5 outside. The kids will have a good sense of security that you're always around and close. Plus you're changing your roles, etc .. you're on the right path.

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Our oldest is in school, and our youngest naps for 1-1/2 to 2 hours daily. I would make excellent use of that time. Everything that happened from pickup to her nap time would be well taken care when she naps. And then plan to not take on anything further after she wakes.
Another great detail. Based on your posts and composure I bet your materials look great.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 09-04-2017 at 12:44 AM.
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