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Old 08-31-2017, 11:59 PM
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Whoknew Whoknew is offline
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Default How graduated is graduated?

Hi all, glad I found this site, one of a kind just not so glad about the reason why we're here.

Heres a little background on my situation.

- late 30s

- 2 kids, 4 and 2

- working dad, proud of what I have been able to accomplish in providing for my family.

- STBX is a stay at home mom. We felt this was best for our children until the birth began school. Plan was for her to return to work when our youngest started school.

- But no means was I the primary caregiver. I was lucky to see our kids for 2-3 hours at night. But weekends were all about family. We enjoyed what we could.

- I'm self employed, family business. We had debt untik very recently which we were able to pay off. Was looking forward to a more relaxed work schedule and put in more time at home.

- separation is fresh. Early July. Things progressing quickly, my application was served today.

- Currently see our kids M + W fron 4-7 and Sat from 9-7. This is very recent. Previously, Sats were from 9-2.

- STBX is trying to keep as much time as possible, limiting my access. Main reason why I served which from what I understand is atypical.

- conversations about mediation are not convincing. She'll go and if she agrees, great. If not, she won't listen.

- suggested med/arb and the downfall of having a third party make a decision for us. Said no thanks.

- I'm repeatedly trying to reconcile as well for our relationship was a lost connection that I thought could be saved.

My question is around parenting plans. She has no desire to discuss anything near 50/50 and this is wholeheartedly what I feel would be best. Especially around the amount of research I have been reading, this board included obviously.

We discussed last week about what her ideal plan is, she said the way it is right now is fine. At least for the next 2 years until our youngest starts school. I'm not in agreement with that at all, hence the application.

The ideal goal is to gradually settle our kids into this but how gradual is gradual?

A little more background, they have never been apart for anything longer than 4 hours in their entire lives. Until the Sat schedule was arranged. The anxiety level is high for her. Maybe the kids too but they've adjusted well in my time with them thus far. Overnights, a little concerned but nothing that can't be overcome.

Appreciate any sort of gradual direction. I keep reading about it but nothing in terms of specifics.

Thanks,

Wk

I



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