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Old 08-25-2017, 12:44 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
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After 2 years of litigation for my motion to change, the courts said the matter has become contentious and agreed with my request to appoint the OCL. The OCL accepted my case and is investigating the dynamics of the family and reporting on what would be in the best interests of the child given the present circumstances.

I have been advised by my counsel and that I do not need to argue and prove a material change to the OCL. Just to discuss the issues and what would be best for our child moving forward.

Our order has a clause that allows expanded access as agreed upon on writing.

Here it goes, but keep in mind the wording is different when communicated to OCL and courts. This is just a quick summary write up.

I've had difficulty getting information from 3rd parties, and the doctor refused to give me records because I do not have custody. Mom would not share out information as to where our child went to school, who her family doctor was, and the babysitters contact information.

I wasn't informed of child being taken to counselling, and when I got the records for that child never engaged with counsellor and mom used counselling to direct allegations about me to cas. Following that I learn child is struggling at the school and the school had involved a social worker (several months after mom had taken child to counselling) and the school then recommended counselling. I did not learn about it until several months into the litigation and the judge took attention to that. Counselling never took place after the schools recommendations until very recently when CAS got involved and recommended it.

My flexible work schedule allows me to do pickups/drop offs from school, but the other parent forces me to pickup from daycare although the child is not at daycare after school, and does not permit pickups from school and forces me to return the child at 6PM . I can also work from home due to the nature of my job and that allows me to provide care at other times as well, but the other parent has put the child in subsidized daycare, limiting the times I can have and causing me to have to pay to have more time.

Child has told me she would get yelled at by babysitter if she hugged me on pickups. Mom shows up with family members and friends at exchanges and me doing pickups from school would reduce conflict. I wouldn't have to see her and she wouldn't have to see me, and everyone is happy.

There have been calls made to the CAS about me from the daycare and the school, in which child has made comments of abuse against me, and child has stated to school that they are fearful of me and think that I'm going to kill them with a knife. Child did not repeat the comments to the CAS worker. I have directed CAS allegations back at daycare for child falling down the stairs, which the daycare denied and then verbally attacked me in presence of child for calling the CAS back on her and was not child focused at all. Relationship between daycare and I has been deteriorated following CAS involvement. I was never involved in the decision for daycare.

We don't have a holiday schedule and have not been able to agree to any regular holiday schedule, other parent denies my regular access weekends that fall on holidays and asks the child who the child wants to be with on that weekend, and decided to facilitate or deny access based on what the child says.

Other parent doesn't involve me in any of the decisions and only contacts me when payment is required. I have tried my very best to work with the other parent and even suggested tools we could use (and offered to pay), i.e., OFW, but it never happens.

As a side note, I do believe there is alienation, and have mentioned little glimpses of why I believe that in writing to the OCL , i.e., child refusing to call me dad claiming daddy is a yukee word. Stating "we don't like you" while with other parent before an exchange, refusing to hug me at exchanges and have an open relationship with me, being told to shampoo their own hair for stating their love for me, having fears of being stolen and chocking if they eat at pickups from daycare, etc. I have not shared these to OCL verbally but plan on doing so at some point during in house meeting. I haven't as I am trying to stick to the strong points such as unfounded CAS referalls, issues with daycare, unilateral decisions, holidays, child being burdened, and my concerns that if these things continue then the child will be pulled into litigation being preoccupied with doubts and worries about their future and our love for them, etc.
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