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Old 08-04-2017, 12:03 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Are you telling him that "you're willing" to negotiate his 50/50 request? Or is it "Come to mediation but dont even think about having an equal relationship with your kids"? If so .. I wouldn't either.

Wait, so you're okay with 50/50 .. as long as he discusses why he left you? Oh no .. try to keep your relationship with him separate from his relationship with his kids.

Are you a church mouse that sits quietly during arguments? Just curious. Not nice of him for sure, but not a significant enough reason to refuse 50/50 or block any kind of access.

So his parents and he can provide security for the kids every other weekend, midweek... and long weeks that you leave them there while you work ... but not on a 50/50 basis? I'm just trying to understand. BTW .. in my opinion what you owe your kids is an opportunity to enjoy an equal relationship with 2 loving parents. He sounds like he's good to them .. just not so good at navigating all the intricacies of separation and communication with you. That can be resolved with time .. but time the kids spend with him cant be replaced.
It doesn't sound to me like she's trying to deny 50-50. It sounds like she wants to work together with him to figure out a 50-50 schedule that works for both parents and the children's schedule, and he's refusing to do anything but dictate the schedule he wants, and then not deal with the children's regular activities whatsoever. He won't even tell her what day he intends his access to be over.

As for her wanting to sit down and talk it over and mediate, I didn't interpret that as her wanting to talk about the split. I inferred that the reasons for the split probably had something to do with him being such a dictator, which he is continuing to do.

They need to create a predictable 50-50 schedule that compromises between all their needs (both parents and the children). If he won't sit down with her and figure it out respectfully, or participate in mediation, she'll have to go to court.

If he won't sit down with her, she can send offers to settle with a suggested 50-50 schedule. If he won't respond to her offers to settle, she'll have to initiate court. She's been trying to avoid spending money on court/lawyers, but his tactic is apparently to bully her into meekly submitting to his demands (as he may have trained her to do during the marriage).

So she needs to not submit, stand up for herself, and be reasonable and calm in response to his bullying, keep a journal of all his unreasonable incidents of lack of cooperation, and go into court armed with this record.
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