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Old 08-03-2017, 02:09 PM
Lola1981 Lola1981 is offline
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Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
I similarily separated a few months ago and really wanted to do mediation. My ex refused wanting to only go through lawyers. I was really disappointed because I thought it would be a lot more expensive thgouth the lawyers, which it is, but now that I have seen his offer, countered it, and seen his response, we are clearly never going to agree on two very major issues (SS and access) so if we had done mediation I would have paid for nothing. So now I also am not sure what to do. The lawyer suggested a 4 way conference, which I think will work out some smaller problems, but I have a feeling the major issues won't be sorted and then we are going to end up in court anyways. I'm not sure a 4 way is even worth it, other than ironing out some smaller issues so that only the big ones end up before a judge. You ex spouse sounds similar in that if he is refuseing mediation, it is a sign he is are not wiling to negotiate and mediation wouldn't work anyways.
I understand your frustration. I have been surprised by his refusals but am trying to ensure I take the high ground on everything. My offers of mediation are genuine but also a record that I tried to be collaborative. All I know is that a court process is long and expensive. He knows this instability causes me stress and hopes that keeping this method up will cause me to cave to his demands (even though he refuses all my requests).
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