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Old 07-27-2017, 08:59 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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I was 52 when our marriage ended. I "wasted" more than 3 years dealing with disposing of our business while ex continued on with his life. Yes it was determined that ours had been a 30-year "traditional" marriage and I was therefore entitled to indefinite SS. As it should be. Sad thing is while I did receive substantial SS for several years, it ended up being used for paying debt a/o going to lawyer as ex kept me in court for 7 years after the divorce with his wasteful, pointless attempts at having the SS eliminated.

Since end of my divorce I have indeed worked. I still put in my 40 - 44 hrs/week. I pay taxes, CPP and EI like anyone else. I plan/hope to work for the next 4 or 5 years or beyond. I continue to be entitled to SS (whether I work or not). I have, this past 6 months, given my ex a reprieve from paying me anything as he has, by choice, not worked and instead plays "driving miss daisy" for his g/f who has some health issues. My ex starts to receive his CPP and OAS and 50% of it will come to me to address arrears. I can have the SS reinstated anytime by way of a simple fax sent in to maintenance enforcement.

Life is about choices. My ex chose to behave in a manner which led to the end of our long-term marriage. My ex chose to drain our company bank accounts and left me holding the bag w.r.t. corporate CRA tax debt. My ex chose to take me to court after divorce... repeatedly.... which caused me to essentially blow through any remaining crumbs of our assets from the marriage (which I could locate).

I am most certainly self-sufficient and always have been. Of course, my standard of living doesn't come close to the one enjoyed prior to divorce. However, I count myself fortunate as I will not be nurse-maid to my ex as he advances through old age. Self-sufficiency calculation isn't the end-all at the conclusion of all marriages. SS is determined on a case-by-case basis - this I cannot stress enough.

I recall, at our divorce (JDR) hearing, the judge and lawyers having a lively discussion of my age etc. I was a bit put-off when all these people were discussing me like a) I wasn't there and b) my age precluded me from obtaining a major career. I kept my mouth shut as I knew my lawyer (and judge) were merely looking out for my best interests. However, in reflecting upon the judge's remarks I have to say she was correct in that it was "unlikely" that at age 52 I would see any financial benefit of returning to university (costly) to complete a graduate degree. I suppose if my ex was a typical, well-behaving ex, who sincerely wished me well... I might be currently earning 6-figure salary today. Nope, my ex was an ahole who instead was determined that I would not be able to enjoy the substantial SS he was forced to pay. This is just one of many mistakes he made post-divorce. The 3 years I spent immediately after our divorce I would have much preferred to have been at university. I could (nothing is certain) quite possibly be enjoying a high-paying career today.

If someone is able to retrain and re-enter the workforce (even at age 52) I would recommend it. Many people continue to work into their 70s. 60 is the new 40 I say!
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