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Old 06-21-2017, 12:17 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Originally Posted by pete360 View Post
Hey Arabian,
not sure why all the anger but ok....

I started this post to gain a better understanding of what my rights are as a "visitation" father (i only get them not even 4 full days per month and for a couple of hours every wednesday - i'm not sure where 40% came from); not to have a total stranger telling me how i'm fucking everyone's life - I have my ex for that, ha!

My household is a democratic household. When i have children screaming, crying and begging me not to take them to activities, i honour their wishes and replace that time with other FUN ACTIVITIES. I do not throw them over my shoulder, kicking and screaming and drag them into MMA. Instead I take them: to the movies, hiking, biking, swimming, over to grandma's to play with cousins (very often!), we go downtown and explore, and yes we sometimes sit at home and watch movies and play video games, play board games, cards, build legos, puzzles, etc - all together as we find it fun as a family. Not sure why i'm judged for that?

Also, as a democratic household, my partner and I ask the kids every Friday when we pick them up: you want to go to grandma's house or our house. They always pick ours.

"walk before i run"? That's exactly what i'm doing - i want to enforce the status quo without my ex controlling my every moment with the kids. I'm not even thinking of 50/50 at this point as the idea sounds so far fetched - i wouldn't be able to even wrap my mind around it at the moment!

Anyway, appreciate all your input, i simply wanted to know what my "rights" are, and i believe i got that answer. Good luck to you!
No anger on my end whatsoever. I'm simply pointing my personal view of things from what you posted (very little).

Interests your children are in could be like a knitting club or something where there has been substantial investment (example I gave before was equestrian) so naturally the parent who puts in time/money into the "hobby" wouldn't want to see it scrapped merely because you decided to move and drive is inconvenient.

Going forward, your "rights" are simply that you do not have to put your children in, or pay for, an activity that you did not agree to. Presumably the "hobby" is something that the children have participated in, and you went along with, for some time.

I believe you indicated that you do not have a separation agreement filed with the court. You should probably give serious consideration to getting that done.

I am certainly not saying that you should drag your children, kicking and screaming, to do anything (aside from medical appointments perhaps). Only you know the truth and substance of the matter with the hobby.

Good luck with your 'democratic' household. I wonder though if your children also live in a 'democratic' household with their mother? What on earth will happen if the children decide that they do not want to go to your place?

When do parents parent? or do they simply let the children decide everything?
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