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Old 06-07-2017, 07:11 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Better that she retained a good lawyer than a lousy one. A good lawyer will quickly surmise your financial situation and want to move the file. A desperate, lousy lawyer, would 'blow smoke up her arse' and try to drag the thing out just to maximize billable hours (not that you shouldn't keep a close eye on the purse strings with a senior lawyer).

From a strategic point-of-view it is good that SS has not been raised. Don't raise it. Don't acknowledge it even if it comes in a letter from opposing counsel. That's pretty important.

Full financial disclosure for both of you will be required at some point. So start working on this (call it your "budget" if that makes you feel better). List your assets and short and long-term liabilities (joint and personal). I'd do a spread sheet and have one column from date of separation and the other current y/t/date. The current y/t/d one can later be extrapolated as a budget for future negotiations if needed.

Close the joint bank accounts immediately if you already haven't done so.
A competent lawyer would advise her to get her hands on as much cash as possible.

You don't "pay for her lawyer" - rather you make a settlement and what she chooses to do with the money is her business. Don't get sucked into that.

Friends are good to go out for beers with. Keep your personal life your personal life. If you need legal advice, hire a lawyer. Don't be arrogant in thinking that you can simply hone up on some research and be at the same speed as a lawyer who studied and graduated from law school and who has been practicing law for 15 years. Cudos to those who have successfully self-represented but it aint easy as you will see when you have to start filing the proper documentation.
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