View Single Post
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 05-23-2017, 04:43 PM
stripes stripes is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,838
stripes is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
For the time being and until the parent in question can get appropriate addiction treatment. You really have no other option. Sorry to say.

You now have the school as a witness to the conduct. Surprised they didn't call CAS regarding the incident. I was under the impression that the police are obligated to contact the CAS for any domestic incident that involves a child.

You have to frame it in the larger picture. Here we have a parent who has been admitted to various addiction treatment programs. Now showing up to a school to pickup a child intoxicated. It is not this single occurrence that you will be arguing. It is simply the straw that broke the camels back.

It is not the single occurrence but, all things that lead up to this point.

Generally, they involve requirements for treatment of the addiction. I wouldn't recommend you get into trying to "manage" the addiction. It should be very limited access at a specific location where you do the transport until such time the other parent completes addiction therapy.

Good Luck!
I didn't see this earlier, but thanks Tayken - this confirms my tendencies in this matter. I have been working with a lawyer and framing this situation as a downward trajectory - each commitment to stop drinking has led to a relapse, and each relapse has resulted in greater displays of inappropriate behavior, until we get to now, when the behavior is not only inappropriate but actively dangerous. There's a trend, and it isn't upward.

I have no desire at all to manage his addiction - in the letter that I/my lawyer wrote to his lawyer, I said explicitly that I would not agree to any parenting arrangement which relied on me monitoring his alcohol consumption - so no carrying a portable breathalyzer, no check-ins with third parties, no sweeping his home for bottles before Kid visits, etc. As one friend put it, it's not my job to catch him drinking, it's his job to prove to me that he's consistently sober, through behavior change over the long term. Until that happens, my involvement will be limited to transporting Kid for short visits.

Both the police and I called CAS to report this. It's been bounced to a caseworker. I expect that this will take ages to get investigated, because Kid isn't living in a currently dangerous situation (she's living with me). That is okay with me, because as long as there's an open CAS investigation on ex, I can more easily justify keeping Kid with me.

I am hoping to get this settled through binding arbitration, but will go to court if ex won't agree to arbitrate.

Thanks everyone for the commentary, and I'll keep you posted.
Reply With Quote