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Old 05-10-2017, 01:50 AM
stripes stripes is offline
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
you know what... it really doesn't matter. Who cares about your ex. Priority is you and your daughter.

You get this shit straightened out. You present whatever documents are necessary to ensure you have total and absolute control over your daughter's access to her father. (If he's not 100% dickhead then he will agree.)

You need to impress upon the judge that someone, somewhere, somehow (you) needs to be able to gauge the situation, on the fly, to ascertain if your daughter should be in contact with your ex. That's the nubs man. Judge's aren't retards and know the cycle of addiction....they get it. At the same time, you need to realize (judge will know this) that ex needs "consequence" for his actions.

If the father is unfit then he should not have access until he poses no risk to daughter.

Does your ex have a sponsor that you can contact?

I hope you're right. I hope I get a judge who understands something about addiction, and who can grasp that even if ex is in a lucid phase and sounds reasonable and swears up and down that he's going to get help and stay sober, his track record shows he can't be trusted. And I hope the judge also grasps that I am not trying to keep Kid away from her father, I'm trying to create a situation in which she can stay safe.

If ex is sober, I have no problem making decisions with his involvement. But you're right, when ex is not sober I have to be able to make the decisions about Kid without his (drunken) permission, and for that I need sole custody. It's possible that in mediation, assuming that he's sober, ex will understand the reasoning for sole custody to me and access to him. But that's unlikely. I need to prepare to go to court.

It's hard to get past the feeling that by seeking sole custody I'm somehow screwing ex over or being vindictive. I really wanted shared parenting to work.
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