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Old 01-22-2017, 12:34 AM
loamlump loamlump is offline
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I did not ask for Spousal because I did not want to be dependent on him for a dime. It felt like I would "owe" him. I gave 12 years of my life to an ever increasing control freak, feeling I owed him for helping me with my disabilities. That is more than enough.

If I could've done it, I would not have asked for child support. But I'm glad I did now, given the current situation and goals. It is good thing he is not around the kids, he's the cause of the PTSD and anxiety problems all 3 of us here have (I have professional assessments to back me up on this statement. If he wee to press for more visitation time, I was going to use those assessments to block it, but it's turned out not to be necessary to claim child abuse.

Although we live hand-to-mouth, and I've had to sell every valuable I owned or inherited to pay for a new furnace and repairs, the kids have everything they need and some of the things they want. I feed them well, home-made everything and I grow quite a bit of food in an ample garden. I go to clothing drives and have learned to sew cast-offs into new clothes. Sometimes, I've had to go to the food bank. I cannot let the sense of shame prevent me from providing, pride has to be swallowed when your child needs new shoes.We get by without the $500 a month.

I have multiple disabilities that prevent me from full time employment, the most serious is Multiple Sclerosis. I no longer drive because of this and getting around is becoming increasingly difficult. Eventually, I'll be in a wheelchair. The MS was diagnosed in 2007, when I was pregnant with my second child. At the first ultrasound, a large malignant tumor was found wrapped around my bladder. In spite of this I carried full term and delivered naturally, but that resulted in horrendous damage to every body part in the area.

I have private health insurance, which is deducted from the Ontario Disability I receive. In total, the Ontario tax payer donates $365 a month, plus some of my medications. I am grateful for the assistance, truly I am. But it rattles me to be considered a charity case or a "breeder." Yes, my second child was a surprise, but I cherish her just as much as her older brother. If I could go back in time and change anything, it would be to take away her disabilities, the Autism, and I would have ended my marriage as soon as she was born. But I would still have her. I was just so sick after she was born, the bladder tumor burst during delivery and tore away my ovaries, ripped open intestines... It took a long time to recover, then the MS kicked in... I left M once before, we went to a woman's shelter, but the conditions there, with my disabilities and L's, it wasn't good. Then M threatened to kill himself if I didn't return home. I understand now that is a classic controller/abusive response, but at the time I bought it.
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