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Old 01-16-2017, 07:26 AM
loamlump loamlump is offline
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This all makes logical sense to me, and I hope it plays out as in the case you cited, Arabian.

Based on the Order of $500 a month CS, by the time the mortgage comes up for renewal, he will owe $36,000, which is much more than his equity share. Without financial disclosure for 2011, 12, 13, 14, 15 & 16, it is difficult to guesstimate what his income has been, but I hazard to say it could only have went up. I received a call just this past Friday from a sheet metal company, calling to receive his product order for the month. He must be working.

The children are both Special Needs, the eldest with several anxiety disorders, the most severe being Social. He is afraid of any and every situation involving people outside his family circle. If I had the money, he would benefit from professional therapy. He is nearly 18 (July), so I am no longer fearful his father, whom he is very afraid of, can seek and obtain custody of.

The youngest child is on the Autism Spectrum with cognitive and developmental delays. There are many professional assessments that suggest she suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (a result of living with her father and her cognitive state. When she remembers an event she reacts as if it just occurred, re-living the emotional reaction). At nearly 10 years, she is functioning at a 6 year old's level. L is a very complex child, and although I have been the primary care giver since her birth, I am still learning how to help her. I have established a support network for her and I with 3 outside agencies and at present she is experiencing a high point that is crucial to keep up. If her father were ever to obtain custody, I know all the supports and current therapies would be cancelled, as he always claimed there was nothing wrong with her, that she was just a "bad" kid. The danger lies in her ability to forgive at the drop of a smile. If father should show up at the door today with an offer of McDonald's, she'd go. The last time they interacted, he was 2 hours late for the visitation pick up time. We (L and I) had been talking about a friend of her brother's who had some drug issues. When M finally showed up, L blurted out, "Are you on drugs?" Her father slammed the car door and left without a word, with L sobbing in the driveway.

I fear for my daughter most of all. Should he come forth and demand the house be sold, I can make a good home out of a dog house. But both kids would be fully aware of why we were forced to leave the only home they have ever known. Custody must remain with me, if L is ever going to be a functional member of society. Above all, she must be protected from her father's harsh discipline and ignorant parenting skill.

I have worked very hard to keep us in our home, working to reduce the mortgage payment (when my mother died, I put the entire inheritance of $25,000 on the house) to $350 a month. That is the only reason why we are still able to live here. The last time the mortgage was renewed, we were still in contact, and he included his CS payments in the income assessments. When he was asked about the possibility of selling the house, he told the bank agent that we would re-visit the issue when L was 18 years old.

If he plans on resurfacing in 8 years, based on that $500 a month, $84,000 would be owed in CS payments! And the custody issue would be void.
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