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Old 01-09-2017, 08:35 PM
loamlump loamlump is offline
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Default Hello

Hi, my nickname is "loamlump." I live in Central Ontario with 2 children (now 17 and 9, one has severe anxiety disorders and the youngest has Autism). Like all of you, I am going through the process of separation and divorce. It is with great relief to read some of the threads here, and realize I am not alone. I became separated in June 2011 when I called 911; my husband of 12 years threatened to slit my throat in front of the kids. When he went outside for a cigarette, I took the opportunity to shut & lock the door, and pick up the phone. This act ended 12 years of abuse of me and the children.

After 5 years in and out of the Legal Aid and Court systems, I've paid out $10,000.00 and am currently, officially still Separated, with a Judge's temporary Order for full custody (he was granted 8 hours a week, Sundays, visitation) of the kids and possession of the Matrimonial home (we both are on the deed and mortgage). He was ordered to pay $500 a month child support. No Spousal support was asked for. I have been disabled with back problems since 1998, and receive Ontario Disability.

Once the Threatening Charge was dealt with, M disappeared for 2 years. I heard news of him through my in-laws, while his mother went into her final illness and then passed in December 2011. It was revealed that he had had a series of lovers since my initial back injury in '98. Once his mother's estate was settled, M disappeared to all until September 2013, when he called me, asking to see the children. I ended up having to take him to court to get rid of him by May 2014. Throughout that time we never resumed or reconciled as he never gave up his girlfriend... It was a intense period of my life.

Around August of 2014, M went into hiding again. He has not filed income taxes, closed his bank account, stopped coming around on Sundays, moved and otherwise dropped off the face of the Earth. He has never paid any child support, or even bothered to send a birthday card to either child. This year at Christmas, our daughter tried to call him, only to learn his cell number is not in service.

There are so many facets of my situation I am wondering which forum to start in, or if I should just lump everything together in this thread. I have questions about custody, the mortgage, next steps and so much more. I am tired of living in limbo and I hope that you people here may have the knowledge and experience I lack.
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