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Old 12-23-2016, 03:08 PM
Asphenaz Asphenaz is offline
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Sorry for my lack of response, I had my second settlement conference on Wed and as my lawyer said, she's never seen a judge flip-flop on her decision before. It wasn't a surprise to me... but first a bit of history, I will try to be 'vague' as I don't want this to be used against me... If you wish further details shoot me a message. Yes, I have been accused of neglect, abuse (verbal) and all the rest all without proof.

I was thrown out of my home by wife (unemployed) a few years ago, and I quickly established a week about routine with my kids (within a month of separation; it was easy since she mysteriously fell ill, quit school and got on disability after throwing me out). I would have them for a week and she would have the other one. About half a year after separation she initiated litigation for full custody as she wanted to move. My lawyer forced her into a minutes of settlement that has been ongoing since, it basically covered support and week about schedule.

Our first settlement conference, all that was done was request OCL. OCL recommended that I have 2 out of 3 weekends (an extra day added to weekend during summer break) and maybe a mid week visit every two weeks. The report, recommendation and the fact that the OCL agent changed custody from shared to full for ex at last minute, floored my lawyer. We filed a lengthy dispute (30+ pgs), OCL reply is pending.

The OCL recommendation is based on NOT having spoken to the children's family doctor, nor their teachers, nor did they take into consideration that both kids want things to stay the same (in their OCL interview), expressed that they feel safe in both homes (OCL interview), that my ex stated she is convinced the children are safe with me and would say something if they weren't (OCL report) ... nor that my ex is diagnosed with mental illness and refused taking medication for it (OCL submitted doctors report) and told OCL it was the doctor who said not to take them... Or that she has alienated me from every appointment regarding kids, changed their family doctor to a new one without informing me, even thought it's an hour long bus ride. Is consistently late on all exchange days, when kids not in school (this stopped when I threatened a contempt order).. I could continue but that's the big points...

Then came the motion of support, despite the fact that I was paying support since separation. After a midnight move, I was served the papers.. Again my lawyer was surprised that the judged after less than 20 min the judged ruled 100% in ex's favor.

And finally, the second case settlement. As we don't have OCL's reply to our dispute, the judge gave her advice based on OCL recommendation. She recommended a schedule that while not not week about, favored me with above 50/50. Judge called a break, to give us a chance to discuss. After discussing it with my lawyer we stayed as close to judge's recommendation but slightly modified for equal access. My ex's lawyer, had other cases on the go, so left to attend his other clients. After returning 10 min before the break ended, we presented our offer and it was quickly rejected.

After returning to the courtroom. The ex's lawyer explained that surely the judge would not want to go against the OCL recommendation, and that they generously offered two extra midweek nights a month above OCL recommendation. The judge glad for a way out of her earlier mistake, pretty much told me that I should take the offer of 1 weeknight a week, and every 2 out of 3 weekends, as I sure would not get that if I went to trial. This is despite status quo of week about and shared custody for 2+ years

After digesting that surprise, I've decided to wait till I hear from OCL and see what I need to build my case. Trial management is set for the new year. I decided to take the holidays for myself and work on me and enjoy the kids.

I understand that while I feel it's not 'fair', if I look at it from a third party point of view and with the 'win-win' mentality, it's easier to stay positive. If I was in jail, and someone offered me to see my kids 2 out of three weekends, I'd be glad for it and make the most out of it.

I hope it wasn't too much of a rant...
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