Thread: Am I a bad dad?
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Old 11-25-2016, 01:34 AM
Daddyof2 Daddyof2 is offline
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Unhappy Am I a bad dad?

Long story short, my STBX moved with my kids an hour away to be with her boyfriend, I can't move there because financially I can't afford her area and she lives in a very rural area. Because of the distance, the court decided its in the childrens best interest that I no longer have joint physical custody and see them on Wednesdays and every other weekend.

The boys are now enrolled in hockey in her area, practices are at 8am meaning the kids have to wake up at 5:30am to be there, games are a bit later however its still over an hour drive. They have to do that drive 4 days in a row when I have them (pickup, game, practice, drop off) its a lot of stress on all of us. The boys hate the 8a.m practices so I have only been taking them occasionally.

Due to the distance, we have always done things separately with the boys, for example, I signed them up in tennis, soccer and martial arts and she has always refused to take them during her time. I even signed them up in tennis near her area but she never took them and I never made a fuss about it.

My eldest loves playing hockey and she has been manipulating him lately, I made her aware that they didn't go beforehand yet she calls and asks them how the game went and if he got breakaways and scored goals making him feel bad. I also know from the boys that she has conversations with them saying that I need to take them to hockey and making him cry. Then she keeps texting, emailing and calling saying that your son is crying because you wont take him to hockey, you need to answer the phone and talk to him. They are fine when they are with me but I feel like such a horrible dad. Now she is telling them if you guys were with me I would always take you to hockey and I will even come to your dads to take you to your hockey game.

My time with them is already reduced, I go an entire week without seeing or even talking to them (because she ALWAYS forgets her phone in her purse) and now she is trying to reduce it further. I financially cant afford all the driving, I am even wondering how am I going to afford my rental in two months. Also, i'm afraid if I allow her to come take them during my weekend she will legally fight to take them away or take custody away because she has always wanted that. She even offered me once saying that I wouldn't be financially liable if I sign a paper giving up my rights to my boys and never contact them again.

Am I a bad dad? Because I feel like a horrible and selfish one.
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