Thread: Need a boost
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Old 06-03-2016, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Yes it's very odd that schools hold important concerts during the day, disallowing children the pleasure of having parents watch, unless they are doing some kind of shift work (in which case they may be sleeping during this time) or are on Welfare.
Not sure if D5 is different, but she recalls the events I miss due to work.
The above quote is precisely why I came to the support forum for a boost. It just plain sucks being the parent who can not attend because I work hard during the day. I'm not blaming ex for going .. it's good for D5. However, she is choosing not to seek FT employment as per the order, which I dont think anybody should condone in any manner.

In any case, the post was due to a certain level of parental guilt for not being able to attend these special little events and finding ways to answer D5's questions "Why does mommy get to go and you dont"? My situation is a bit different, in that my ex didn't want D5 to have these amazing experiences..she fought it tooth and nail. It's just an interesting situation. Now I think she sees I was right .. D5 is happier than ever. When I drop her off all her friends come yelling her name, she knows all the months of the year, can count to 50 her fine/gross motor skills are improving like crazy .... and she's not hanging around babies at playgroups anymore so the baby talk has vanished.

Ex and I are super pleased about her progress, development and pure joy she's experiencing in j/k.
Yeah, she gushes about how awesome it is because she thinks you'll forget about her utter resistance to it only months ago.

As for what to tell your daughter when she asks why her mum can come but you can't, it's all part of the same question about why her mother doesn't work. You tell her that most grownups work to support themselves and their families, which means they have to sometimes miss things they want to be at. Her mother has chosen not to work, so her house may not be as nice, etc, but she is able to attend the concerts you have to miss.

The unfairness sucks, yes. You work hard, missing events with your daughter, all to enable your ex to not work and attend those events, the very same ones she fought hard to prevent.

I hope that this EQOA week aside, you are able to take time off now and then to do things with your daughter?
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