View Single Post
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 04-14-2016, 11:33 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
Hand of Justice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,139
Links17 is on a distinguished road

Also I really would suggest you do your best to save your marriage. If she is not a completely unreasonable person then it is 1000% worth it to make the marriage work.

FFF's point are all true, as a lower income earner she divorces you takes you "spare income" + her own income + finds a new guy and she is balling..... and you are at 75% of your income at the best and way more financial responsibility. Furthermore she doesn't lose your contribution to the marriage (in terms of your higher income) but you instantly lose all her domestic services - she gets paid and provides nothing in return.

In terms of kids, I don't care what people say here but Divorce is pretty much the worst thing you can do as a couple can do for your kids it is just one step above physical or sexual abuse as far as I am concerned (unless the divorce is to protect them or you from abuse). My kids miss me 50% of the time and they miss their mom 50% of the time, they will never feel secure again, they don't if there mom is going to bring a new guy, a new family replace them, will they see me again etc.... You can reassure them all you want but it's straight up destabilization.

In terms of relationships, I think except for serious issues everybody has their ups and their downs and you are trading one set of problems for another. Even though my ex-wife is completely unreasonable and evil she had some good qualities which made her way better than almost every other wife in someways I knew, I was accepting that she was a lunatic in someways and willing to help her with that nobody is perfect.

Now I see other women and I think of if they want kids (tie me down) or have kids (i subsidize them) and all the other risks that come with it.... Its like jumping out of the fire and into the frying pan.

Life is pretty good single (and well off) but sometimes I would trade it in to be married again and not deal with all this (even though I enjoyed the litigation....) even with the craziness I had to deal with this.

I suggest you read some stuff by John Gottman, it helped me tremendously identify certain behaviours and problems. Divorce should be a final option for you.
Reply With Quote