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Old 01-29-2016, 07:35 PM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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Hi there. First off, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. The below is terrifying to read.

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He punched a hole in the wall in front of the children, threatening me with Consequences if I left him.
- He barged into my bedroom at night numerous times (sometimes drunk) to yell at me, and throw separation agreements in my face
- After I had a lock installed on the bedroom door to prevent these nightly "visits" he broke down my bedroom door to continue to verbally assault me after I had retreated there to be in peace.
- He charged at me to prevent me from taking the child car seats
- He showed up at my new home, and attempted to enter my home to take the kids
- He pushed me in front of the children and grabbed my arm leaving a mark
- He shows up at my work, when co-workers tell him I'm not here he says "Is that what she told you to say?" and said he'd wait at my car. 3 hours later he's waiting by my car.
It sounds like these are consistent "patterns" of abusive behavior. I am confident that you backed yourself up by taking pictures of bruises, keeping documentation of police calls, picture of broken doors, etc. It's good that you have witnesses at work who observe his "stalkish", intimidating behavior.

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These are not extreme cases of domestic violence, but he uses intimidation, fear, blackmail, threats and physical strength to dictate situations
Actually they are all pretty extreme, especially the stuff in front of the child. The psychological/emotional abuse also sounds very significant.

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I have tried to press charges, as I called the police for 3 of these incidents, and the police have discouraged me saying that the children would be taken away from both of us (I do not want to put the children through that).
I would suggest calling another police station. What they have told you is BS. That would deter abused women to seek help for sure. Nobody will take your children away from you if you're a proven victim of abuse.

Have you accessed a women's resource CTR? They might have more info for you.
I was under the impression that if a person calls 9-1-1 and reports abuse and states that they would like to press charges...that it's the officer's duty to do so. But I'm no cop so I could be wrong.

You've called the 3 times now. It's completely wrong and abnormal for them not to act, especially since "3" times illustrates a clear pattern.

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In fact the last visit, he somehow convinced them that he was the victim, and the police sided with him (and the victim's unit called HIM). He coaxed my daughter to lie to the police, though when C.A.S. spoke to her, she told them the truth.
Generally police and "police partner assault" do not take these things lightly. (Especially after calling the 3 times). How the hell did he have them do a 360 degree turn to him being a victim? Did he have marks of any kind? Perhaps in your self-defense?

I don't really get it. Dumbest police force in the universe .. or what?

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He coaxed my daughter to lie to the police, though when C.A.S. spoke to her, she told them the truth.
Told the truth about what? That he was abusive or that she witnessed something? If so, did you get a report with that. This document will go a long way if you want to proceed with charges, restraining order, peace bond, etc.

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I would like to press charges, so that this does not escalate into something much worse, he has committed acts of violence against me in the past, years ago, but I don't want to bring them up, because Police have ridiculed me for having stayed with him and not reporting it...
Definitely bring up the past abuse also. You've already called the cops 3 times. There's a clear pattern. Balance of probabilities that something has to be wrong.

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I would also at least get a Restraining / Non-Harassment order.

Do I have the grounds for charges and/or a Non-Harassment order?
Yes, with the info you've given, this would certainly be a good idea. You need to keep yourself safe. He definitely shouldn't be barging in anywhere, including your place of employment of home.

Do you have grounds? Well .. do you have proof? Problem seems to be the police don't think so... and say that he's the victim. (After 3 calls)

Did you take pic's of bruises?, e-mails, texts, etc. You will need stuff like this.

I'm sorry you're going through this .. keep your head held high.

LF32
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