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Old 01-29-2016, 04:17 PM
selfrep00 selfrep00 is offline
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Default Domestic Violence / Abuse

Hi folks,

I'm dealing with somewhat of a special type of person in my ex.

Since the separation, my ex has committed acts of destruction to property, and has committed "minor" acts of violence against me.

While still living at the matrimonial home together (I have since moved out) :

- He punched a hole in the wall in front of the children, threatening me with Consequences if I left him.
- He barged into my bedroom at night numerous times (sometimes drunk) to yell at me, and throw separation agreements in my face
- After I had a lock installed on the bedroom door to prevent these nightly "visits" he broke down my bedroom door to continue to verbally assault me after I had retreated there to be in peace.
- He charged at me to prevent me from taking the child car seats
- He showed up at my new home, and attempted to enter my home to take the kids
- He pushed me in front of the children and grabbed my arm leaving a mark
- He shows up at my work, when co-workers tell him I'm not here he says "Is that what she told you to say?" and said he'd wait at my car. 3 hours later he's waiting by my car.

These are not extreme cases of domestic violence, but he uses intimidation, fear, blackmail, threats and physical strength to dictate situations.

I have tried to press charges, as I called the police for 3 of these incidents, and the police have discouraged me saying that the children would be taken away from both of us (I do not want to put the children through that).

My question is, from a third party perspective, are these grounds for Assault, and should I/can I press charges?

My concerns are that his acts of violence have escalated with each incident, as each time the police didn't do anything. In fact the last visit, he somehow convinced them that he was the victim, and the police sided with him (and the victim's unit called HIM). He coaxed my daughter to lie to the police, though when C.A.S. spoke to her, she told them the truth.

He also coaxed my daughter into telling C.A.S. that my current partner physically abused her. The C.A.S. rep did not believe his accusations, but the repercussions COULD have been devastating.

I have done what I can to cut off all communications, but he still does as he pleases (like showing up at my work or new home when told he is not welcome).

I would like to press charges, so that this does not escalate into something much worse, he has committed acts of violence against me in the past, years ago, but I don't want to bring them up, because Police have ridiculed me for having stayed with him and not reporting it...

I would also at least get a Restraining / Non-Harassment order.

Do I have the grounds for charges and/or a Non-Harassment order?
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