There are some very good responses here, many with which I agree. I just wanted to add a little of my two cents, and that pertains to the age of the children.
If the children are younger, they should be walked to the door and waited with until the receiving parent or adult opens the door and invites them in. If they are older (I'd say maybe 10 or 12 and up) they could easily walk from the car (in the driveway) to the door, as long as the sending parent watches to ensure they get into the house safely.
Right now, at my stepson's age, we always walk him to the door ourselves. We say our goodbyes in the car, and simply wish him "good night and see you soon" once he enters into the house.
As with many others here, we leave all communications to email and the occasional phone call. Our exchanges are always focussed on the child, and not on the adults. If any information needs to be communicated, a simple "Please check your email this evening" is said, and we acknowledge that there will be news for us to read and possibly respond to.
In the beginnings, my stepson's mom tried to initiate heated conversations at the door, often resulting in her screaming and crying or blocking the driveway, but we very quickly and calmly began walking away from any senarios that had the possibility of resulting in a verbal bashing of my fiance or I, and at every pick-up and drop-off calmly stated that if she had anything to communicate, we would be glad to receive an email, but that we were not going to partake in her verbal battles at the door in front of the child, nor were we going to have the child sit and wait in the car while she verbally abused us. (Yes, she often asked to put the child in the car and return to the door "to discuss things.") Luckily, this approach worked, and now the child comes and goes without a fuss, and is happy during the exchanges.
There is no magic formula other than that which works best for your child(ren).
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