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Old 12-23-2015, 07:33 PM
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arabian arabian is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
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Hi Joe - something to think about this year, and many years in the future, is that neither you nor your ex are the same people you were 20 years ago. This little, but significant fact, has helped me face my own divorce (30 yr marriage).

Think about memory of things in the past. We tend to remember significant events in our lives. My ex and I used to lament that, for example, Christmas isn't as meaningful or as good as when we were young. Well when you think about that statement, of course Christmas today isn't going to be as exciting as it was when you're younger (good or bad exciting). Youth and age give us different perspectives on everything in life. You may think fondly of the "good old days out shopping and preparing for Christmas" when, in reality, those days were absolute chaos with cranky kids, stressed-out parents and maxed out credit cards. Ask yourself if you could handle the same amount of uncertainty, that you did 20 years ago, today? Not a chance. You're probably more concerned now about your RRSP's, blood pressure than you are about getting laid 7 times a week.

You are a different person than you were 20 years ago.

Embrace the past and look forward to the future. Enjoy the wine (20 years ago you were probably drinking rye/coke or shooters).

You were happy years ago and you can be happy in the future. Don't fall into a pattern of comparing things from your earlier years to things you newly encounter in the future.
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