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Old 12-23-2015, 07:15 PM
joehobo joehobo is offline
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Default Divorced for the Holiday!

I actually thought the Divorce part would be more anti-climatic than it has been. I've been quite happy on my own for the last 8 mths. But... This last week a couple things hit home. The Divorce is final... and I found out via a tangential post on FB that some guy has been sleeping over at my Ex's new house on the off weeks (we are 50/50). OK, this was going to happen sometime, I realize that. Reality bites though. The dope either is stupid (my kids have FB and would see this)... or is asserting dominance.
In either case... it was a bit of a slapback. I thought I had processed the split pretty good. I really am in a better space than the last 3-4 years of her passive aggressive weirdness. The divorce has been textbook perfect (we function very co-operatively and have been truly reasonable about everything... even to the point of co-ording the $$ spend on the kids and balancing $ and gifts with each other this Christmas). I KNOW she could have taken me to the cleaners.. but she didn't.

Yet... her being with another guy is really f*ing with me. I'm out shopping and I cast back to the days (not that long ago) when we functioned strong as a couple and family. Christmas was the best time of year. I still can't tack down where the hell it messed up. I see couples and families out shopping, and I think.. that was us. And now its not.

I'm trying not wallowing in self-pity. I've got a bit of something-something going on myself (IMHO, waaaay better than she ever was).... but I still look at 20 years of history, and I was Happy. I would have done almost anything to fix whatever issues that she had (she never brought them up until well after it was clear she was done and it was unfixable). I still harbour anger that she forced my hand... I was crazy-mad in-love with her, and I was the one that in the end had to say that I wanted a divorce.

So I'm now facing the first Christmas alone in my entire life (kids go to her place on Xmas day). Its not going to sink me... I've got junk planned ( going to Star Wars on Xmas day... preparing a nice meal for myself after that.... Santa's bringing a new PS4 and some cool games. And there is wine. Sweet Wine.
So I'm going to be busy. Its just going to suck.
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