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Old 01-03-2015, 01:01 PM
FirstTimer FirstTimer is offline
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Default Currently have primary custody, should I settle custody 50/50 to avoid court??

Hi everyone,

I have a question, what are my chances of me continuing with primary custody of our 3 year old son?

Here is the situation, finally going back to court on January 15th.

We both signed an consent order in September, that i would have primary custody of our son in exchange i give her a lump sum of money.

She is now wanting to go back to court to change it to 50/50 as she now says she was coerced into it.

She is the one who actually offered to give me full custody of him in exchange I help her out financially as she was given an eviction notice and she needs a break. *this is the second home, after she got evicted in June*.

Previously, we were in status quo 50/50 shared parenting.

My arguements against it
Best interests of Child.
1. Stable physical environment of child.
She had been evicted out of house in June, had her power and gas cut off a few times in past 2 months. Did not pay his dayhome in August and thus he had no daycare for that month.

2. Emotional well being of child.
She has been investigated by child services around issues with her daughter. *fighting* etc. It hasn't gone away, this past weekend, I was invited to dinner with them and half through, she got mad at her daughter on the way home and screamed at her and stopped her car on the freeway and told her to get out, all this in front of our son, I have this actually recorded. I told her not scream and she doesn't care really. Is that evidence? I would hope so.

3. Actual ability to take care of child. Her working hours are from M-T 2-8:30 PM, Friday 4:00 to 9PM and Saturday 12 - 5 and Sunday 12-5. It doesn't make sense for him to be shuttled around on weekdays. I pick him up at 5 from dayhome, and I am expected to bring him to her house at 8:30PM? That's not stability for him? Does anyone agree on that?

4. I'm the one that actually takes him on activities and such. Swimming, park, movies, dinosaur museum etc. I have photo journal to provide it.

5. Stable physical environment
I have the same house I've been living in for the past 6 years. I have a bedroom for him, everything. I don't have power cut off issues.

6. Emotional well being
I have been consistent with what I want with our son, I do not flip flop on my custody access.

The crazy part here everyone is she originally OFFERED FULL CUSTODY TO ME. My original thought was you know what, she was going to be evicted, I could let her get evicted then come after for primary as she can't even provide him a stable home but i thought hey, I will give her money i would have spent going after her anyways in court so why not just save her as well from being evicted in the best interest of the child.

Nope, as soon as she got the money, it was basically, I change my mind, i want 50/50 still.

Her argument:
1. Best interest that child is with her as well on a week on / week off basis. (I am not sure how this would work since she works weekly m-f 2-8PM and Saturday/Sunday 12-5 PM).

2. She said she was going to hire a nanny which fell through (it was a friend of a friend, that "I was going to pay for")

3. More importantly, she wants offset child support.

4. The money i gave her, she is now saying it's a loan. and it is paid off for the 4 months since September. (my child support for those 4 months equaled the amount of loan). Meaning that, even though I had him full custody, she was still entitled to full child support and since I "didn't" pay her child support, this would be payment in full.


Now i am thinking, what are my chances of winning in this case? it's going to cost me about 6 to 10K my lawyer said to go into special chambers. She is offering me 50/50 now or fight in court.

From a financial perspective and I know it's in her favor that she makes less than me, but her income is 28K, and her rent on her house is 2500 so you see why she wants child support.

Do i have a chance or is the court going to side with mom as always?

Last edited by blinkandimgone; 01-03-2015 at 02:19 PM. Reason: removed child's name
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