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Old 10-30-2014, 05:36 PM
stripes stripes is offline
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Originally Posted by FightingForFamily View Post
Someone like LF32 is trying to work a job, keep a house, pay CS and pay what must be tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees while his abuser sits in a free house, with free council, all paid for people who unwittingly donate money to things like the "legit" white ribbon fund.

Real violence, against men or women, is horrendous. But propping up a system that only offers help to one segment of society (who often unscrupulously abuses that help in quite a few cases) is just as horrendous. If I donate money to the white ribbon campaign, I am directly funding people like "goldilocks" and "luba" who rely on it to continue their horrendous behaviour.

Personally I would put my money somewhere else and not into either the real or fake white ribbon campaign.

You're certainly free to contribute to whatever charitable cause you prefer, but I wanted to clear up a misapprehension about the White Ribbon.

They don't give money to LF's ex or to the notorious Luba. They don't operate shelters. They're a volunteer organization that runs programmes for men and boys - if you look on their website, you'll see a lot of stuff about parenting skills for fathers, self-esteem building for boys, etc. The idea is that the best way to prevent domestic violence is to equip people with good skills and values for negotiating relationships. They're about prevention, and they focus on men because they believe that the man-to-man approach is effective.

"The system" of domestic violence shelters and hotlines is there for people who need it. Some people abuse the system - like the ones you named - but that makes them jerks, it doesn't make "the system" wrong.
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