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Old 10-15-2014, 02:03 PM
MommyTime MommyTime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Assaults? I'm assuming these assaults aren't physical...if they are, he'd be digging his own grave.

If you're discussing verbal assaults...no, you don't subject yourself to them...you save the hostile correspondence for court and don't bother responding to them.

Personally, out of the text exchange you posted, I saw nothing hostile or assaulting in anything he said. What I saw was him clarifying the same thing to you repeatedly because I assume he wanted to make sure that the children were at the exchange since you were trying to put conditions on him that he didn't agree with.
The written persona differs from the face-to-face persona. Perhaps I did not handle that exchange well, but this would be the context.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Its about you recognizing that you cannot tell him what to do. Your responses lead me to believe you really don't get that you can't control his behavior...only your own.
Oh, I do get it. It's a learning process.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
I've had a similar experience. My ex filed for sole custody and accused me of everything from being a drug addict to being a chronic masturbator.

I never bothered to stoop to his level. I would simply blanket deny pages of accusations from him with a one-liner in my response affidavit and move forward by trying to prove why I was a good parent. I never attacked him...it was unnecessary. As a result, I was successful in court.
I'm sorry this happened to you.. I am glad things worked out.

Like you, I have not attacked X once in court or in any court document. I have denied all allegations and obtained support from investigation reports. This has resulted in the children's return to my home, but the debris to clean up remains significant.

On the contrary, every court document submitted by X is filled with the same unfounded allegations but "developed to heightened alarm" and new allegations. Each document is no less than thirty pages. They usually contain long lists for orders from the court. The court has ignored these but has not altered the initial order either. The verbal recommendation is that the initial order will be changed and the judge projected that if this case goes to trial, X will not be very successful.

One step at a time. The legal process is very slow.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
People have power over your life when you grant them that power.
I'm learning to set boundaries in my counselling sessions. I am not good at this but I am willingly trying to learn.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
My point is that I don't think your ex had incredible legal power. If your messages here are any indication, you probably had some major missteps in the way you handled your divorce litigation. Judges get tired of dealing with certain personalities traits in some resistant litigants and it can be very detrimental to their cases.
No divorce litigation at all. Custody was obtained by ex parte while I was caring for the children in the shared home, going about my usual routine. I was served with police enforcement present. The children were immediately removed and I was prohibited from any contact moving forward. I couldn't even contact the same children I had been caring for all day? They were already in bed when I was served. Not a mark on them. Bellies full. Bathed. Stories read. Happy and content. What abuse?

It was a strategic move in criminal and family courts to fulfill that promise many years ago that if I ever left the relationship, X / friends / family would be brutal and cause me misery. This one fact isn't about placing blame. It is what it is: a kept promise.
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