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Old 09-15-2014, 12:57 AM
stripes stripes is offline
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If you don't want to bring up the subject with your ex, you could talk to the kids' teachers and ask if they have noticed any behavioral changes with the kids. If you have a good rapport with the teachers, you could ask if they think that some form of counselling would be appropriate. That way the idea doesn't appear to be coming directly from you.

Bear in mind that counselling (if it's done properly) is for the kids' benefit, giving them a neutral adult to talk to, rather than for the purposes of finding out what the other parent is doing. The counsellor should not tell you what the kids have said so you may never know what really happened with this knife incident.

Your cousin the child psychologist should definitely not be treating your children in his/her professional capacity, as s/he has a conflict of interest, but s/he may be able to recommend a colleague.

If your ex won't accept the kids getting counselling under any circumstances, you could try the idea of a group for kids whose parents are going through divorce or other forms of loss, like Rainbows (google to see if there's a Rainbows programme in your city). These groups aren't "therapy" as such, but they give the kids a chance to talk about things, and they have social workers attached to them, who can be an excellent resource for you. (I had similar concerns to yours at one point, and the Rainbows social worker was very helpful to me in figuring out what to do. Fortunately, the situation resolved itself).
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