View Single Post
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 09-12-2008, 07:23 AM
FL_Needs_To_Change's Avatar
FL_Needs_To_Change FL_Needs_To_Change is offline
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Northern Ontario
Posts: 1,261
FL_Needs_To_Change has a spectacular aura aboutFL_Needs_To_Change has a spectacular aura about

SingleDad99 is right.
By leaving you have told the court that you want the mom to live in the home with the children and that you are OK to live on your own.
Stay in the home as long as possible, go about dealing with getting a written agreement on the financials, an establishing a status quo with the care of your son. If he is on in your care most of the time while you are not working keep a diary and keep track of all the times etc she has him primarily and when you have him.

Sounds crazy I know. But if you are right, you will both be fighting over this little guy and you need as much on your side as possible. She WILL use your alcohol history against you, my husband is a recovered alcoholic too, in fact that is where he met his ex wife, see too was an alcoholic and also had prescription drug dependences. They both got sober, but years later we were still fending off the alcoholic allegations, and she NEVER once said she too was an alcoholic. For some reason she always seemed to forget that when filling out her statements.

Turn the focus of the courts to the fact that you sought treatment, she didn't. You remain clean, she is still struggling. Things like that, then focus on the family dynamic, and the best interest of the son, and how staying in that environment could potentially cause him more harm then good despite the fact that he is so young. Offer a detailed parenting plan if you want the courts to award primary custody/residency to you. Also offer a detailed visitation schedule. To do this at the onset shows you are child centered, that you are focussed on what is in the best interest of the child. Not what you feel would be best for your situation. Stay focused and remain civil, your strength should come from your son’s best interests, not your needs or wants.

But do not leave the home, if that is at all possible