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Old 09-11-2008, 04:01 PM
Itiq Itiq is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Anchorage Alaska
Posts: 1
Itiq is on a distinguished road
Default 4 year CL relationship ending - custody of child, house, possessions etc.

I am separating with my CL wife of 4 years. We have joint everything, bank accounts, Credit card, vehicle, snowmobile, mortgage, pretty much everything. We have one child together (2 years old) and she has two kids from a previous relationship (11 and 13). I don't think this is a factor, but she is still married to her ex (father of the two kids).

We are ending the relationship, and now trying to figure out how to move forward. I want to sell the house and our joint possessions, and pay off everything. The problem I forsee is who will get custody of our son? I am going to do everything possible in order to keep him with me.

As a background to the relationship, we have both contributed everything equally, for house and all possessions.

The reason for ending the relationship is from me, not being able to live with her anymore, and absolutely not being able to get a long with the step kids (not without trying, many times, many different ways), I am unable to happily continue in the relationship. Both my wife an I grew up in bad environments, and have not had healthy childhoods, as such we have many bad habits. Her children have also grown up in a bad environment (single mother many years, bad relationships etc). and the children have some mental problems as a result (ODD as well ADHD are diagnosed). I was coping by turning to alcohol which made things worse, heavy drinking which lead me to self admit myself to a treatment centre. The best thing that I have ever done, I am no longer drinking, but realize that I cannot live in an unhealthy mental environment, the mother is not committing to get the required help for her children. I want to get out as I cannot help any longer and have no more connection with step kids.

There are many more complicating factors as to why the relationship is ending, but I am unsure what I will be facing.

I want to take my son out of there and start over on my own, in a mentally healthy and sober environment.

If I get my CL wife to agree to splitting everything, what is the next step regarding custody of our son? I know that we will both fight to keep him.

What should I do next?